If, like me, you have always been told to do your best, try your hardest and never give up, what do you do when you're faced with a situation that you simply cannot change?
I think it's fair to say that as children, we're all subjected to a near-constant drumming of ambitions into us by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and teachers alike. In my case, ambition was made particularly important when it came to finishing food, and going to bed on time. Whatever your parents' priorities for you were though, I expect you often heard them say things like "just do your best," or "if you put your mind to it, you can do anything". Something I didn't learn as a child however, was how to know when enough was enough; when it was best just to let it go.
But actually, when I think about it, learning to give up is something that only you can teach yourself. The problem is that the thought of conceding; of giving in to circumstance; of letting go, is absolutely opposed to all the lessons about diligence, perseverance and grit that I was taught when I was younger: it feels like the wrong thing to do. Especially, when you find yourself faced with the prospect of giving up on something of huge importance to you. Isn't that synonymous with failing?
But actually, when I think about it, learning to give up is something that only you can teach yourself. The problem is that the thought of conceding; of giving in to circumstance; of letting go, is absolutely opposed to all the lessons about diligence, perseverance and grit that I was taught when I was younger: it feels like the wrong thing to do. Especially, when you find yourself faced with the prospect of giving up on something of huge importance to you. Isn't that synonymous with failing?
Slowly but surely, it has dawned on me that knowing when to call it a day is not a failure. Usually, its a healthy decision. With time I've learnt that if something is meant to be, it will. Of course you can exert influence over people and situations, but you can't force them. Sometimes, things will just turn out how they will, no matter how much it hurts, and no matter how much you might wish for it to be different. And at times like these, desperately fighting against circumstances, actually makes things worse.
The question I find myself asking is: is it really worth it? Is it a really a good idea to keep going? I often think back to a conversation I had once with a wonderfully thoughtful, and spiritual person, who told me that while the decision to give up your struggles to whatever higher power (or lack thereof) you believe in, may be the hardest, it will also be the wisest and most fruitful. Learning that balance and putting yourself first sometimes isn't a question of being weak, or selfish, it's a matter of allowing yourself peace. It's one thing to say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but it's also true that these things are meant to challenge us, not to break us. What is even more important, is that it's up to you to choose exactly where you want to draw that line...
The question I find myself asking is: is it really worth it? Is it a really a good idea to keep going? I often think back to a conversation I had once with a wonderfully thoughtful, and spiritual person, who told me that while the decision to give up your struggles to whatever higher power (or lack thereof) you believe in, may be the hardest, it will also be the wisest and most fruitful. Learning that balance and putting yourself first sometimes isn't a question of being weak, or selfish, it's a matter of allowing yourself peace. It's one thing to say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but it's also true that these things are meant to challenge us, not to break us. What is even more important, is that it's up to you to choose exactly where you want to draw that line...
